Klutzy

I have a scar on my left cheek. It's slightly less noticeable now, but when Luz pointed it out to me over lunch two days ago, it was very visible, nothing short of what you'd expect from someone who just came from a fistfight. In fact, Gary - with his usual far-out analogies - said I looked like I came from a prison riot. I knew it was exaggeration, but how many times have you been told you looked like you came from a prison riot? Not too many, I would bet. :)

Funny thing is, I honestly don't know where I got it from. And even funnier, this is not an isolated case. I guess I need to rethink my usage of the adjective “funny”. Cutting, scratching, wounding, bruising are not very humorous, unless you're the type who go for slapstick. And you're not the recipient of those unfortunate mishaps.

There are times when I'd find that I have scratches, wounds, and bruises unaware of where I acquired them. I'd be washing my hands, and – where did that scratch come from? I'd be waking up from bed and – hello, new bruise. Maybe it's because I have a high threshold for pain. Once while inside a mall, I noticed a bloody trail on the floor. I was surprised to find that it came from my own hand which had a small but deep cut. It is for this reason I always keep a couple of band aids with me.

Pathetic. People have Mastercards in their wallets. I have Mediplasts.

But, oh, yes. There are also plenty of times when I exactly know it happened. Painful times – both painful to the body and to the self-esteem. But I tell you, if it's too painful physically, you wouldn't think too much of your ego. Trust me, I know. I have had the firsthand experience of ungracefully alighting from not one - but two! - jeepneys. I sprained my ankle on both occasions. I even needed an x-ray and consultation with an orthopedic surgeon. The impact was so sudden that when I landed on my knee, the asphalt scratched right through the denim and ripped it, leaving me with a bleeding knee and a back-to-grunge fashion statement. Ripped jeans at the knees, yeah! With bloody stains, even more yeah!

Sometimes, it can be attributed to plain absentmindedness. I have been known to stand up from my workstation with a sudden movement, only to be seated back again because I have not removed my neckband headphones. As a result, my keyboard and phone toppled over from the table. And I had to replace my headphones because the other ear wouldn't play already from too much yanking, I presume. My keyboard has also been replaced but it was because I spilt iced tea on it. The systems administrators had to send a reminder to all employees to be careful of spilling any liquid on our computer hardware. Yikes.

My klutziness is notorious among my friends. It is a source of puzzlement and entertainment for them. The most recent instance of which is an bruise on my right arm a few weeks ago. It initially elicited a lot of concern and worry as it looked very ugly and forbidding. But when they found out where I got it from, they become incredulous and eventually bawled over with laughter. I tell them the truth. I got the bruise from hitting a tricycle sidecar.

It was parked.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! You've been a great audience! I'll be here the rest of the week!