Catching Up

I am blessed to have a really good relationship with my co-workers. My teammates are also my friends. Some people think that software developers and software test engineers have an antagonistic relationship, but not in our case. I think my testers are some of the coolest people I've ever met.

Friday night - I had dinner with Liz and Paulo. We got to talk about some of the things that have been bothering us lately about work and relationships. We realized how much we haven't talked - I mean, really talked - about things that matter to us. And it was such a relief to find out that we had the same issues and concerns, that we weren't alone in all this mess.

Although we interact everyday, we mostly just end up discussing trivial things like tv shows, our latest LSS (Robbie Williams's Rock DJ - wahaha), and worse, the latest prog comments. But since we all had to get home early that night, we made a date that we'd reschedule the talk Saturday after work - talk longer, no restrictions, direct questions, straight answers. It's somewhat a scary deal. Anything that makes me vulnerable makes me scared. But there was comfort in being a listener and being listened to.

We left work that Saturday as soon as our rendered work hours allowed us to. The first place we headed to was the grocery and buy a pint of ice cream each. Comfort food. If people need weed for their pot sessions, we need sugar for these kinds of conversations.

It didn't start out very comfortable, but once we got the proverbial ball rolling, the talk became more easy. It felt good to be trusted with things you know are very personal and very important to your friends. It also felt good to be listened to. I pride myself for being a good listener, but I forgot how good it felt like to be the recipient of sympathy, of encouragement, of support. Sometimes I feel like I've spread myself too thin; that I've been trying to be everything to everyone. And no one really knows what I feel inside, no one asks, and sometimes I do feel that no one cares.

Sure, I know it's not true (Gosh, I hope it's not. If that's the case, my cheesy and dragging blog entries like this one are the least of my problems). There are just days that when life's toxicity reaches warning levels and it's easy to indulge in self-pity. It's good to have a venue to open up when this happens. And Liz and Paulo were there. We were all there for each other, deriving strength from each other, from the laughters, hugs, and tears. We've willingly broken a part of ourselves and gave it to each other. And I'm honored to be given that chance to be part of lives, and for them to be part of mine.

I'll rip off a line from "To Kill a Mockingbird". You never really know a person until you shared pints of Double Dutch together, followed by glasses of fruit-flavored cold teas.