Quirks

I'm weird. I know I am. I've known it as early as the sixth grade when I first acquired distaste for human interaction. It's when I also discovered I am a loner. I actually liked being by myself, unlike other kids my age who craved for our peers' inclusion. Growing up, I learned to tame this quirk, for the sake of being a well-rounded individual. (Although, I wouldn't really guarantee how that would turn out - I'm no epitome of well-roundedness.)

Sometimes you should give in to the innermost comforts within yourself. I was overwhelmed with the need to be alone tonight and I yielded to a lot of my eccentricities. I didn't wait for any of my friends to logout with me. I would've shared the same elevator with Karl, Ryan, and Tal, but I deliberately hung back so they could go ahead. I also turned down Liz's dinner invitation with the other people who were rendering OT. But just when I thought I had the elevator for myself, my former team leader Miss Eunice came and struck up small talk about the weekly photography competition I was partly organizing. We also both had to drop by the ATM machine, and although I knew she was also heading to Megamall, I politely told her I had to go ahead.

It was raining hard, but I didn't mind the walk. I like rain, I like walking. I also like dusks, but it would be asking too much for me to have logged out at dusk. I don't come in that early to work anymore.

When I reached the final block to Mega, I saw Ryan briskly walking past me without an umbrella. I wanted to call out to him and ask him to share my umbrella, but I didn't. Bottom line is, I simply just wanted to be alone. Although writing that down now, I feel so guilty about letting Ryan get wet. (I'll make it up to him, I promise I will.)

I reached the crowded FX terminal not too dry myself. The queue was long, as usual. The passengers with their zombie-like expressions apparently were not happy with the rain. I wondered if any of them evaded other people's company to rush there. To be alone. How many of them had problematic family lives, complicated personal lives, and uncertain work lives? How many of them were like me, waiting for this time of the day when I could freely wallow in sorrow by myself?

After being stuck in traffic for more than two hours, I finally reached home - soaking wet, but home at least. My mother was not so pleased with my sorry appearance. She was upset that I got rained on. As if the rain was my fault. Or it was the rain's fault that I was in its direct aim, for that matter.

I wonder if Ryan's mom is the same way when he got home this evening.