Readings

After a very long reprieve, at last, I've had the chance to read during the semester break. I didn't have time to read when there was classes. Well, that's not entirely true. I did have idle hours when I could have read something. (When I refer to the term "reading", I mean leisure reading. Not textbooks or any other compulsory school materials. It's inevitable that I read those.) I didn't read during the sem because I feel guilty knowing that I should be spending my hours studying.

Anyway, I finally finished 1984 by George Orwell. I started it about a year-and-a-half ago, but the whole idea of negative utopia got me all depressed and the book took a low priority in my list. Now that I've finished it, I find it very interesting. It still got me depressed, but in a good way - if such a thing is possible. At least, it got me thinking about certaing things. There are a lot of underlying concepts in the story, but the idea of living without privacy was the one that affected me most. Other people like to have an audience or like to always have someone beside them. But for a person like me who sometimes (most of the time) prefer to be alone, I couldn't imagine living in a world where telescreens monitor my every movement. That would be sheer nightmare.

Let me digress. I used to think that preference of solitude was something abnormal. Blame it on all those years when my mother would constantly egg me to "mingle" with the other kids ("What's wrong with you? Don't you want to have more friends? Get out of your shell!"). But after reading the essay of Rowena Tiempo Torrevillas ("Searess and Voyager: Some Notes on the Art of Writing"), I view solitude differently now. I now take pride that I am capable of being with myself. Torrevillas said that if one cannot be alone with one's thoughts, one shouldn't be a writer. I console myself that even if I'm lightyears away from becoming the writer that I want to be, at least, I have that one thing right. To those of you (fellow "wannabe warriors of writing") who are interested to read the whole essay, drop me a message and I'll email the whole thing to you.

After 1984 (corny Lia wants to insert "...is 1985". Ha. ha. ha.), I tackled the thick sheaf of short story printouts that Ryan lent me two years ago. They're mostly short stories in English written by Filipino authors but there were also two about Holden Caulfield written by J.D. Salinger whom Rye and I both admire ("We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"). It was a varied collection of stories. Some are about Filipino life in the US; some about coming of age; and some about young love. My favorite one is "Dead Stars" by Paz Benitez Marquez which, according to the footnote below it, was the short story that gave birth to modern Philippine writing in English. It was amazingly elegant. Poignant. Damn, I wish I could write like that.

I'm also reading the Bible again. I started to read it a couple years back. I wish I could say that I'm reading the Bible because I'm religious. That wouldn't be entirely truthful. Well, I'm a reader. I think that justifies it. I'm more drawn to the Old Testament, though. Don't get me wrong, I like the stories of Jesus in the New Testament gospels, too, but I get hooked on the saga of the Israelites. It has tremendous drama, deceitful ploys, personal betrayals, struggle for power, and God's immense love towards His wayward children. I like the stories of King David and his descendants. I also think the prophet Elijah is really cool. I like the way the Bible mentions the smallest details and how it mentions each person's name and whose child he was and which tribe he belonged in. The Bible is one thorough book. I also found out that one of my nephews was named after the father of King Saul, Kish, and one of the tribal heads of Israel, Jerahmeel. (For a long time, I thought that the kid's name was Kish Jerahmel. It's the Visayan accent. But that's a different story.)

A part of me feels that I'm reading the Bible the "wrong" way. I mean, would it be sacrilege if I say that I read it as I would read any other prose? I sometimes feel that I should be taking it more seriously; that I should be more reflective; or light candles or something. I heard some people even pray before reading the Word of God. Hmm, maybe I am reading it the wrong way.

I just hope there wouldn't be any lightning bolts or dreaded skin diseases involved in the whole repercussion of my actions.