Hooper Humperdinck

Ok, I’m just going to take a wild shot at this: Do any of you guys know who Hooper Humperdinck is?

I’m actually trying to solicit sympathy here, but I think I won’t get any if I compare myself to Hooper Humperdinck. I doubt if a lot of people remember him from children’s literature. He’s a character in one of the original Dr. Seuss books. And I really felt sorry for him whenever my mother would read us his story.

You see, all throughout the book, kids are having grand parties and are inviting everyone – all other kids with names starting from A-Z – except for Hooper Humperdinck. It’s basically just a list of birthday guests in alphabetical order. I would remember checking and rechecking the page wherein the names starting with H are enumerated, but no. Hooper Humperdinck was always excluded. I think I remember that every page in the book ended up with: “But no, not Hooper Humperdinck!”

I think they mentioned something about him being a party pooper, but I’m not so sure. I cringe whenever I see Hooper in the illustrations of the book just taking a peek into the festive parties he was not invited to. I found it really sad, even if I knew he was not a real person. I guess I was crazy, even as a kid.

Anyway, that’s who I remember now: Hooper Humperdinck. And I’m him! Metaphorically, of course.

My friend Tago is celebrating his birthday with an Amazing Race kind of competition. And no one wants me to be on their team!

Ok, I must admit that they have their reasons. It’s true that I’m not familiar with the ins and outs of Metro Manila. I don’t know how to commute. I am not very good at crossing streets.

I bump into stationary objects, parked tricycles included. I get tangled into hanging objects - tree branches included. I trip over the slightest bump in the ground - sidewalk curbs included. I spill, drop, break, and burn things - solid, liquid, and gas included. I cut, sprain, wound, and bruise myself – and those who are unfortunately within the disaster radius included.

And to top it all off, I have very poor sense of direction. Legendary poor sense of direction. Anywhere. I actually got lost in our dorm building back in college.

But are those reason enough to justify their prejudice over my potential contribution to the team (or the lack thereof)? It’s like being picked last in the playground when kids are choosing players for their teams. Or not being picked at all. Ok, maybe they are right. But, still! Poor me! Poor Hooper Humperdinck! Right? Right?

Or maybe I should just forget it and sign up for the coordinating committee.

Aargh. What a loser. >_<