The Chicken Curry Incident

If Guns n' Roses had an album named The Spaghetti Incident -- this, my friends, is an entry about the Chicken Curry Incident.

It all started with a good intention.

I'm leaving tomorrow and I thought I'd give my mom a break and be the one to cook lunch. I usually just help with the dishes and steer clear from anything that involves open flame and sharp objects. I followed her instructions, but insisted that I needed no supervision. (Yaahh-bang!)

Okay, kids, don't try this at home. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

What you need for this recipe: (Sorry I don't do measurements. Measuring are for wimps and not for lazy people like me. Hehe.)

1) chicken (duh.)
2) curry powder (double duh.)
3) garlic
4) onions
5) bell pepper
6) potatoes
7) carrots
8) salt
9) pepper
10) milk (coconut milk, preferably)
11) cooking oil

... and!

12) reliable attention span. (You'll NEED this. Trust me on this one.)

Here's what you need to do:

Fry the chicken in oil. Not extra-crispy frying. Just let it brown a little. Set that aside. And then, fry the potatoes and the carrots. Set those aside with the chicken, too. Now, saute the garlic and onions. Dump in the chicken and vegetables. Sprinkle it with the curry powder, salt, and pepper. Put in the bell peppers. Mix it all well. Put in a little water and then the milk. Cover the pan and let the whole thing simmer in low heat.

Easy, huh?

I did all those with veeery little trouble. Sure, there was the occasional altercations with the splash of hot oil while frying or the sporadic dropping of utensils. But other than that, I did fine. In fact, I thought I did a helluva job.

I was so damn cool about the whole cooking thing that I turned on my computer and started surfing a bit. I dropped by my favorite sites, most of which are fellow bloggers'. One of the blogs featured the Goo Goo Dolls' song, "Here is Gone". And I remembered how I really liked the song. I had a hard disk drive crash a few months ago and lost all my old MP3's, including the Goo Goo Dolls' songs. So I downloaded "Here is Gone", and the other old ones like "Name", "Slide", "Iris", and the Rzeznik solo, "I'm Still Here".

After that, I logged on to my instant messaging services. I lurked to find out on who's online and checked my emails. Grrr. I hate spam. I hate chain mails. I hate emails with subjects that contain the words: "enlarge", "live video", and "XXX".

Delete All. Confirm? Hell, yes!

So there I was, idling in front of my computer for almost an hour when all of a sudden, something hit me. No, an anvil didn't fall on my head. I mean, a surge of alarm shot through me and I immediately sat straight up. I know it's so prosaic, but it's like there were warning bells inside my head but I had no idea what they were for.

Looking back, I must've looked stupid while I stared blankly ahead and tried to remember what I missed. Processing... processing... processing... processing...

Oh. My. God.

The pan was still on the stove!

I could've given The Flash a run for his money the way I ran. When I got to the stove, there was no flame, but the knob was still turned on. When I opened the pan's cover, the sauce was entirely evaporated, but thank goodness, nothing was charred. I guess the low flame was put out by some lucky wind, just in time.

Whew.

An hour. I actually left the whole thing for an hour. (Why am I sensing that motherhood is not something meant for me?)

I told you. You need to have a reliable attention span. Well, better than mine, needless to say. Anyway, the end product was drier than the desired texture. But, hey, I'd rather choose that over charcoal. What started with a good intention almost ended up being burnt beyond recognition.

I'm Lia, Queen of the Klutz, and I survived cooking lunch.